I love my addiction3/19/2023 ![]() ![]() The anxiety created by neglect and abandonment is carried forward into adulthood until intensive healing work is done. This kind of abandonment in childhood creates intense anxiety in children because they depend on their caretakers for their very survival. They usually experienced emotional neglect and abandonment by one or both parents. Most love addicts come from dysfunctional and/or addictive family systems where their emotional needs weren’t met. ![]() They may demand to know all of their partner’s thoughts and fantasies. When love addiction is severe, the love-addicted person may monitor, follow, harass, or even stalk the object of their obsession. Essentially, the other person becomes your Higher Power. You may feel intense anxiety when you don’t know where the other person is or what they’re doing, or you can’t get in touch with her or him. When you struggle with love addiction, you are preoccupied and distracted by persistent thoughts about the object of your love addiction. While love addiction is not an official mental health diagnosis, it is a debilitating condition that can be even more difficult to recover from than other addictions. You can see why, if you’re struggling with love addiction, you would also have problems being true to your own reality, your wants, needs, and preferences-all of which are vital to the practice of good boundaries. Love addiction is a serious form of codependency where one person places such a high value on another person (partner, friend, family member, etc.) that the relationship becomes all consuming, and the primary focus of the love addict’s attention. ![]() In Episode #33 of the podcast ( When You Lose Yourself in Relationships), I mentioned that when someone feels like they’re losing themselves in a relationship it could be a sign of love addiction. ![]()
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